Relate Consciously 2024: Being Relational and Creating Deeply Connected Relationships with psychedelic sacraments
Sonali Sadequee, CHHC, RYT 500 is a faculty member at Imago International Training Institute, She delivers world class training on relationships to healthcare professionals, entrepreneurs, company executives, and community leaders and activists. She is also the Founder of Relate Consciously, a national consultancy that offers relationship centered communication training to organizations. She is the creator of the Relational Communication™ training program which supports individuals and groups to create psychologically safe, respectful, and connected relationships with each other. Students and participants that she trains develop the communication skills necessary to show up courageously and safely to foster connection and collaboration amongst diverse team members and loved ones. DeliveryRank finds out more.
The communication and relationship coaching work I do is rooted in Imago Relationship Theory, trauma-informed neuroscience and ancestral plant medicines and their impact on the brain and nervous system- a few powerful frameworks that help to improve the quality of relationships in our lives. As an Imago Communication Facilitator and a plant medicine integration specialist, I support professionals and young adults to deepen their connection and communication with each other as aligned with sacred journeys through life. I educate them on how plant medicine may support their healing process and how to Integrate these tools to explore and upgrade emotionally and spiritually within their relationships with loved ones, friends, and colleagues. This holistic approach fosters conscious communication, empathy, and deeper understanding of themselves and all their relationships.
Sonali, can you explain how Imago communication techniques can help individuals and groups prevent relational stress and disconnection, and how these techniques contribute to a happier and healthier life?
Imago Relationship Therapy was developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980 and it is packed with relational skills that help to transform conflict into connection, historical wounds into wisdom, and turns battlefields into bridges for relational healing and growth.
First of all, we don’t perceive these as mere techniques. We accept them as safety and trust building skills and practices—practices that anyone can learn and actually embody. Imago helps us become conscious communicators who are being dialogical and relationship-centered with each other. Imago helps us cultivate safety—emotionally, psychologically, and relationally. It helps us become aware of the “space between” ourselves and anyone else that we may be in conversation with. We call this the relational space.
Imago skills help us create and maintain safety in our interactions with others. It shows us how to hold space for one another, to listen deeply, and to engage in ways that foster and maintain genuine connection. When we feel safe and connected with each other, we are kinder, more supportive, more willing to play and share with each other. This kind of safety and connectedness help us to experience the joyful aliveness we so deeply seek in our lives as human beings. Imago relational skills can also help us to create relational containers that help us to express our needs, desires, wishes, our fears, insecurities, frustrations, and unmet needs in ways that can be heard and held by another.
At the heart of Imago are skills that help us build and deepen trust in all of our various relationships, such as with our families, friends, partners, colleagues, coworkers, etc.. Without trust and safety, genuine connection cannot happen. What we know is that when trust and safety are compromised, so is the quality of connection. Therefore and ultimately, Imago helps us create a relational space where trust and safety flourish, which allows us to meet the deep human need for connection that we all seek in our relationships.
How does your work in Imago communication integrate with your background in yoga, nutrition, and trauma-informed practices to create a holistic approach to wellness and relationship building?
Each coaching session is started with a 2-5 minutes somatic awareness, tapping, breathwork, and/or energy meditation practice because these practices help bring our mind and body into the present moment and provide immediate results in helping us feel present. Most participants that come to my coaching sessions are experiencing some sort of stress in their lives/relationships that keep them dysregulated. In their lives, they may feel easily activated, uneasy, anxious, etc.. They may find themselves in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn modes. They are not in the best place to make clear choices/decisions and often end up saying things that they regret later or that promote disconnection and harm in the relationship. That is why consistent grounding or centering is needed when we are in emotionally challenging or sensitive conversations or relationships with people in our lives.Therefore, I introduce these holistic practices into each and every session, sometimes in the beginning and as well as during the closing.
When we consistently practice these self-regulation skills, we are more efficient in maintaining a balanced nervous system and therefore able to make decisions and choices in alignment with our intentions, values, and principles. This means we have access to our inner resources such as calmness and/or joy with greater ease and grace. From this regulated state, we’re able to think more clearly and make decisions that not only address the immediate situations but also consider long-term effects and/or consequences. Being self-regulated allows us to respond in a more thoughtful and comprehensive way and it is essential for relating to others in a way that fosters safety, connectedness, and trust.
The Imago communication skills presented in my individual, pair, or group coaching programs go beyond self-regulation skills because relational communication skills help us to co-regulate. Speaking to each other in the Imago way can help two people keep each other’s nervous systems regulated and fully in the present moment. For example, even if I bring anxiety or stress to our interaction, your ability to hold space for me using Imago skills can help me regulate my nervous energy. You can bring my heightened state back to center. We humans are interconnected this way.
What are some common challenges people face in their relationships that Imago communication can specifically address, and how do you guide your clients through these challenges?
Clients typically seek guidance on how to handle chronic discord and challenging dynamics that seem to repeatedly surface in their relationships. They often come to the realization that their current approach isn’t working and are eager to break free from these recurring patterns. My role is to help them engage in conversations and relate with each other in safe, brave, and more relational ways. This shift allows them to move beyond their current stuck points with a greater sense of self-awareness, a deeper understanding of the other person’s emotions and needs, and an increased capacity to hold space for the challenges also known as growth edges of the relationship.
Typically, they want to focus on a specific area of their life, whether it’s their relationship with a loved one, friend, a housemate or a colleague, and their entire team because they lead companies or organizations.
In many cases, companies invite me to facilitate difficult conversations with their staff or teams. Most common challenges are a result of disconnectedness where the team members avoid each other, or due to lack of clear protocol around how to offer and receive feedback, team members remain performing poorly, which breeds frustration and resentment, weakening the culture. Lack of clear policies about how to address conflict as they arise is also a very common challenge I notice. So, I facilitate everyone navigating these sensitive discussions by helping the team create an intentional container where they hold space for one another as they work through these emotionally charged matters.
When clients begin to understand their own and others' nervous systems function and what is needed for each other’s safety, they become more empathetic and brave with each other. They develop new skills that elevate the way they relate with one another.
As for how long it takes to master these skills, I’ve been working on becoming more intentionally relational for nearly 20 years, and I wouldn't consider myself a master. It’s a lifelong practice. Of course, I'm in a much more capable place now than I was 15 years ago—I'm far more regulated, and I regularly hear from others that they feel deeply comfortable, safe, and close with me, sometimes after just a couple of days or weeks of knowing each other.
While mastery is a long journey, the foundational skills, particularly the Imago intentional dialogue, can be learned in a relatively short time. The basic structure can be understood within a couple of hours, but applying and practicing it effectively is a lifelong process. The more you engage with it, the deeper your understanding and capacity for relational communication will become.
In your experience, how does the practice of deep listening and empathetic dialogue in Imago communication create lasting positive changes in both personal and professional relationships?
Deep listening and empathy are, in my view, the most essential skills in fostering safety, trust, and connection in any relationship. Whether it's with our loved ones, children, colleagues, or anyone else we interact with, these skills are vital. Listening is a fundamental human need, hardwired into us from infancy. As babies, we rely on our caretakers to understand and meet our needs through attentive listening and attunement. This need for connection doesn’t disappear as we grow—it simply evolves.
As adults, we all still crave the feeling of being heard and emotionally held. Just as infants need to feel seen and comforted, we too, as adults, require that same acknowledgment, albeit in more complex forms. When we’re listened to in ways that address our emotional needs, we feel understood.
Take, for example, a child who falls and scrapes their knee. What they long for in that moment is empathy from their caretaker—someone who will comfort them, recognize their pain, and reassure them that they are okay. This helps their nervous system feel soothed, a reminder that they are safe and everything will be okay. The role of the adult is not to dismiss the child's pain with phrases like, "You're fine," but to comfort them by validating their experience. This form of emotional support does not vanish in adulthood; we simply experience it in different ways.
When we go through difficult moments—whether it’s the pain of divorce, the loss of a loved one, or a career setback—what we seek is similar: someone who listens, acknowledges the gravity of what we’re facing, and offers empathy. Hearing, "I can see how hard this is for you," provides far more comfort than, "you’ll be fine," which can feel dismissive or minimizing. Empathy, when given in the right way, helps us feel less alone and more understood, becoming a healing force in our lives.
When someone is able to hold space for us, reflect our emotions back to us, and truly listen, it can profoundly impact our well-being. This is why empathy and intentional listening are so deeply important—they fulfill a basic, universal human need for connection and understanding. We are social beings, hardwired to seek this type of emotional resonance from others.
If you would like to find out more about Relate Consciously, please visit https://www.relateconsciously.com/ and https://www.sustainable-wellness.com/